The Bodleian Library

The Bodleian Library

I was reading Locke in the Political Philosophy section of the Bodleian Library this morning when I received a series of text messages from my Aunt and an email from my dad with the same message: my grandfather had passed away.

I loved my grandpa. I am thankful that he loved our family so much. He was a good and Godly man. Last time I was with him (December of 2010), we snuck out of the house (against my grandmother’s orders) to a coffee shop. He had heart problems and wasn’t supposed to have caffeine, but he loved a good cup of coffee (now you know where I get it from) and wanted to spend an afternoon with his granddaughter, me! I was beaming the entire time we were together. He ordered us double lattes with extra froth, which probably was a bad idea-at least, on his part. We talked for hours and hours. I’ll remember it for the rest of my life.

Papa told me about his first wife, my dad’s mother Jean, how much he loved her and how he wished he had more time with her before she died in her 20’s from breast cancer. He told me of his days in the army and landing in Germany during WWII, his success at the bank in Denver, but mostly, he talked about his five boys, how proud he was of my dad, and how thankful he was that my father and his family were walking with the Lord. Papa Guy was a big man (he played college football in Missouri) with a big heart and this morning he went to be with Jesus.

I’m thankful for that afternoon I spent with him. I am sad he’s not with us anymore.

Grief is no joke. It’s hard to be all alone in a new place without the people you know and love to walk with you. I don’t know people here well enough to ask them to just sit and watch a movie or to read a good story/series of poems out loud with me. I need a hug and I miss family, so I hope to go to the Bywayer’s house tomorrow. I am thankful for Kevin and his incredible family. They’ve been so gracious, kind, and generous to me. They are a true blessing from the Lord.

It’s been beautiful and snowy outside all day long. After I received the sad news, I went on a walk through the snow to pray and hang out with God for a while.

God is faithful and good. He heals the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Tonight I continue to grieve, but I am thankful for my grandfather, his example, and his love for me.